some changes

I wrote a blog post earlier but felt like it wasn't really what I wanted to say.

So the other day I hurt my back doing Insanity. I know that I probably was pushing myself too much on it but I really wanted to prove to myself that I could do it. I wanted to be able to go through this quickly but didn't think that I'd be sitting in my chair right now with a pillow behind my back and in pain. I mean, I'm sure not everyone thinks that this is where they were going to be 24 hours ago. I certainly didn't.

And then I went on a rant about how I'm done trying to do this. I don't honestly think that's what I wanted to say. But at the time, and in that much pain, it's what came out. Am I disappointed? Yes. Will I say that kind of thing again? Possibly. Am I going to give up? Definitely not. I have yet to really give up on everything. There have been so many setbacks this year with my running. First was an injury in my calf late last year. Then I had a cyst taken out of my back and couldn't run for 2 weeks because it was very difficult (sweat and blood don't really mix well, especially when they are oozing out of a hole in your back). Then it was the heat for 2 weeks. Now this. I didn't quit then. Why would I quit now?

In a way, this kind of relates to the rest of my life. I always seem to quit certain things in my life. I'm not trying to go all "Wahhhhh!" on here. It's just something that I have noticed over time. It's something I do want to fix. Just having a really hard time.

My back is feeling better. Unfortunately, it took me a few days to actually write this. Sitting in this chair is very uncomfortable. I'm getting there. Gotta go do some stretches now.

Insanity Day 1

Today began my sixty day trip into hell and back.

The first circle I entered was the Fit Test. Or, as I like to call it, Limbo. It seems that my first trip has me residing in where all the unbaptized go. I really started as someone who did not accept Shaun T (the creator of Insanity) into my life. I stayed here for a while, swaying back and forth in deciding if I really wanted to go this route. I finally accepted it in my life and moved onto circle two.

Lust. Wanting the change in my life started to change me overnight. This is where my punishment began. And for a while, this is where I'm going to stay. I can say that I will get to the other circles of hell throughout this entire sixty day field trip. I can already tell that at some point, I will get to anger, heresy, and violence. I'm sure this will all be a part of the experience. Gluttony and greed start today cause I am already craving food and energy. I want them. Badly. And the last two? Fraud and treachery? Those will be replaced by some new type of hell. It'll take me sixty days to figure those out but I know that at one point, I will figure those out.

The Fit Test was actually an enjoyable workout. It was tough. It was quick. It kicked my butt. It made me do stuff that I've never done before and actually succeed at it. It had me do switch kicks, power jacks, power knees, power jumps, globe jumps, suicide jumps, push-up jacks and low plank obliques. Each for one minute. I wrote all my numbers down. I don't really feel that I did fantastic for my first time but it definitely was better than I thought. So here are my first Fit Test numbers.

Switch Kicks: 46 reps
Power Jacks: 28
Power Knees: 58
Power Jumps: 17
Globe Jumps: 5
Suicide Jumps: 11
Push-up Jacks: 9
Low Plank Obliques: 18

So in 2 weeks, when I do the next Fit Test, I hope to see an increase in those numbers.

With day one complete, I can rest until day two. Until then, I'm hungry.

insanity starts tomorrow

Yesterday in the mail came one of the scariest things I could ever imagine. Insanity. I can honestly tell you that I am very scared of doing this. Well, more nervous than scared. And excited. It's like a mix of every emotion that you could have and I actually am really happy about that. If I didn't have those kinds of emotions for this, then I don't think that I could fully fulfill my promise to myself that I will do this for 60 days. And when you open the box, and see all the stuff, it kind of just hits you.

This doesn't look so bad...Right?

I read the booklets that came with it and I'm prepared. So, treat this as my Day 0 post. This post serves a lot of purpose for my entire 60 day trip. It'll have my starting measurements, weight and before pictures. So I'm going to apologize to all of you readers now. The pictures you will see are not the most pleasant sights. I can honestly say that I look so much better than I did over a year ago and I have lost a lot of weight to get to the point where I am now. But it's still, to me, a horrible sight. And I get that people will say "You're getting there!" or "It's not bad at all!" or "You're hot!" (my girlfriend says this one a lot). But if I'm going to really see any improvement over the next 60 days, I'm going to have to show you how it started. It's kind of liberating, showing myself without a shirt on and putting it on the internet. So we'll see how this goes.

Definitely not safe for work.

But I start tomorrow. And I think this will be a great thing for me. Now I must go. I'm starving.

Runners Bucket List

Everyone knows what a bucket list is, right? If not, it's a list of activities or events or whatever that you want to do before you die. Over at Dad Runs Disney, my buddy Matt put up an interesting post about a runner's bucket list. It got me thinking. Why haven't I actually come up with a list of races that I would love to do before I die. I mean, I've already accomplished so much running as it is and I've signed up for some amazing events in the past year. But I want more. So much more.

So here's my list of the 10 (!!!) races I want to do before I die, in no particular order.

1. Walt Disney World Dopey Challenge

I wanted to start the list off with this one. Granted, I am doing the 2014 WDW Half Marathon this coming January. With that being said, I really want to accomplish this feat of running perfection. I don't think that my body is currently ready for that feat. I know I was very tempted to do the Goofy Challenge (a full and a half over 2 days) this year but I don't want to screw over my body. So, sometime in the future, I will be doing this race (followed by the Dumbo Double Dare and the Coast-to-Coast in the same year). Just a heads up, I am going to do the Dumbo Double Dare in 2014 and get the coveted Coast-to-Coast medal.

2. The Great Wall Marathon

Just think about it. Running the Great Wall of China as a marathon. Going through all those amazing villages and seeing some fantastic sites. It's definitely something I would love to go do.

3. The Boston Marathon

Honestly, nothing really needs to be said about this one. One day I will qualify.

4. The New York City Marathon

Another hard to enter race but it'd be a dream to get in.

5. Spartan Race Trifecta

True, this is a multi-race event like the Dopey Challenge but this is a dream. I would love to be able to get the Spartan Sprint, Super Spartan and Spartan Beast in one year. Only bad part: it would require a lot of travel on my part to be able to complete them all.

6. Tough Mudder

Similar to the Spartan Race, doing more mud runs are up my alley. I mean, one of the damn obstacles is called Arctic Enema. How great is that!

7. Krispy Kreme Challenge

any race that requires me to eat a dozen doughnuts gets my vote! I'm sure I can convince a few others to join me on this one as well.

Almost done...

8. Hartford Marathon

Another where I am actually doing the half this year. But I would love to do the full for my home state race.

9. Big Sur International Marathon

Any reason to go to California again is worth it. Running from Big Sur, CA to Carmel, CA just sounds like fun. And the view is suppose to be fantastic.

10. London Marathon

Any reason to go to London to run AND dress up as Doctor Who? Sure. I'm game.

insane

So I broke down.

I talked to a friend of mine who I know from runDisney and talked to her about the Insanity program. I honestly can say that I have never ever thought about buying one of those informercial programs. To me, it's always been a waste of money for something that I probably will use once and then never again. But I honestly feel that I need more. I crave more. It's really weird hearing that from me. It's really weird writing it. I always say that I never really pictured myself where I am. But currently, I picture myself better. Stronger.

Didn't think I'd go that route, did you? Probably...
Anyway, I bought it. I honestly spent the money on something to make me a better person. Running gets me there but I need something more. I need a lot more. I've seen inches go away and come back and I don't want that to happen anymore. I want to have a healthier life style and I honestly think this could be the best thing for me to do. I'll still do the gym to go do running but I've always hated weights and lifting. I'm sure I'll be doing that more after the 2 months is up.

Yup. Two months. Of me complaining on this blog.

That's how long this program is. And you know what else I'll be doing? Running. I still have half marathons to train for and I'm not going to stop that. September will be here before I know it and once September 15th comes, I'm going to be busy every freaking weekend.

This is going to be a very tough thing for me to do. But I'm really excited about it.

Plus, after it's all said and done, I can finally be called "Buff Baby."

race after race

This past Sunday was the 5K Foam Fest up in Haverhill, MA. A nice drive. A little over 2 hours to get there. But let me tell you, it was worth it. I did an obstacle course race earlier in the year down in Greenwich, CT but this race was amplified. By like 10. It was fantastic. We got there around 8:30am and had to wait the 2 hours before our wave went. I could be exaggerating this but it felt like we were there for 2 hours. The course started out with a huge uphill run. It was not the greatest thing to do cause it pretty much was uphill for the first mile. This was followed by 5 foot and 8 foot walls.

Walls.

I fucking hate walls.

Back in Greenwich, I tried doing the walls that they had but it was pretty much full sheets of plywood with no footing capability. I pretty much skipped them when it came to those. So when these ones were going to come up, I figured I'd be better at it cause there would be footing holes. I was wrong. Not about the holes. They were there. It wasn't better. I couldn't get any footing in the 5 foot walls and almost made it up the 8 foot wall before falling back to the ground. I felt like a total pussy for walking around them while I watched everyone else able to do it. It kind of ate at me the rest of the race. I was pretty much able to do all the other obstacles but really feel like those walls were my crutch. I wish I was able to finish them.

My team was awesome. So that made up for it.

See, we were awesome.
After this race, I came to the conclusion that I love running. 450 plus miles later and it's finally come to me that this is what I enjoy doing. So much crap has been going on in my life lately. I haven't found a job. I continue to get pressured into starting up a business that I know could be really awesome but at the same time could be a total failure. I'm very confused at what I want to do for the rest of my life. I get scared.

Very, very, very scared.

But when it all comes down to it, running has my back. For the past year, I've been able to rely on it as one of the few things I constantly want to do. As much as my legs swear at me and how my body just wants to give up, I continue to go on. I don't stop. I gain all those extra miles.

I just hope that these miles help me with my life.

Since I love running, I will keep doing races. I have one this Saturday (Run or Dye) and just signed up for the Warrior Dash in September on top of the Half Marathon I have in Westerly in September and a few other races as well by the end of the year. Then it'll be January 2014 and the Disney Half will be within my grasp.

Prove to me I don't like to run.

Quick note

Just a quick note. This weekend is nuts. 10 mile run on Friday, ConnectiCon on Saturday and 5K Foam Fest on Sunday. I'll hopefully have pics

Title

Here I am, sitting in front of my computer, being a nerd and looking at the various Magic cards that are floating all over my desk. As the piles continue to grow, I continue to get more and more ideas for decks. But at the same time, I really start getting more ideas about my life. It's weird that a simple piece of cardboard can really change your outlook on a lot of things, especially ones that are in regards to my future. The more cards that I gain, the more knowledge that I seem to accumulate. Take this card for example:

I learned to never step on a banana peel while I'm next to an empty grave plot.

But in all actuality, it's gotten me to think of what path that I really want to take my life in. And it's been a tough past couple of years for me so something like this is a real eye opener. A real tragic slip. I start to realize which people are with me and which are against me. I don't plan on changing how I am now since I absolutely love who I am, which is absolutely perfect.